The Armoured Car Rampage
July 19th 2007 03:48
You’ve probably seen in the news over the weekend the story of the stolen armoured car that ran rampant through Western Sydney knocking over phone towers. If you haven’t, it confirms that you obviously aren’t paying enough attention to the world around you. It isn’t all petrol prices and league players going for more than four months without knowing an opponent’s tooth was stuck in his forehead.
The guy who owned the armoured car was annoyed to the tune of $60,000 that it was stolen, especially because of the lost income he will accumulate. You see, the armoured car had been done up for special events like weddings and school formals. The interior was decked out with leather seats, plasma TVs and a mini-bar.
The owner also has a bright orange armoured car with the same features, which was also damaged in the theft. My question is this. What sort of moron would choose a black armoured car over an orange one to go on a rampage in? It’s not like driving a black tank through Western Sydney is any less conspicuous than an orange one. People will notice anyway.
If you stole the orange one, you might get off with a lighter sentence in court. You could just argue that you’re compulsively flamboyant. That’s how Matthew Newton avoided prison.
That being said, I have decided that this orange armoured car is going to make an appearance at my wedding. All I need to do is find a nice young woman who’d also like it at her wedding, and propose to her.
Name me an unsuccessful marriage based on a solid foundation of both liking tanks.
The guy who owned the armoured car was annoyed to the tune of $60,000 that it was stolen, especially because of the lost income he will accumulate. You see, the armoured car had been done up for special events like weddings and school formals. The interior was decked out with leather seats, plasma TVs and a mini-bar.
The owner also has a bright orange armoured car with the same features, which was also damaged in the theft. My question is this. What sort of moron would choose a black armoured car over an orange one to go on a rampage in? It’s not like driving a black tank through Western Sydney is any less conspicuous than an orange one. People will notice anyway.
If you stole the orange one, you might get off with a lighter sentence in court. You could just argue that you’re compulsively flamboyant. That’s how Matthew Newton avoided prison.
That being said, I have decided that this orange armoured car is going to make an appearance at my wedding. All I need to do is find a nice young woman who’d also like it at her wedding, and propose to her.
Name me an unsuccessful marriage based on a solid foundation of both liking tanks.
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Comment by Anonymous
I'd like to have a tank at my wedding. Maybe you and I could get married.
Though, when I say tank, I don't mean bright orange armoured car, I mean an actual army tank. But instead of shooting explosives, it shoots, I don't know, glitter or balloons, or balloons filled with glitter.
I'm sure we can work that one out closer to the date.
Hopefully you can handle having a tank, instead of a pimped-out armoured car. We don't want to start our marriage off fighting about thick hulled vehicles.
Comment by NickP