Inappropriate Bridal Waltzes
August 3rd 2007 03:41
Don’t you hate it when a surprise inclusion of Sloop John B into the coda of an lo-fi indie-pop song challenges the notion that it is your least favourite Beach Boys song, plagues you and keeps you awake for at least another three minutes even though it is really late.
Me too.
I was talking to someone about bridal waltzes, and how she had made her friend agree to give her the power of veto over what she walked down the aisle to. It makes a lot of sense, since people have the worst songs to play at weddings. A popular one to play is ‘Miss You Love’ by Silverchair, which is about loneliness. Or worst yet is ‘One’ by U2, which is about divorce, or depending on some analysts, AIDS. Either way, it’s not really an appropriate bridal waltz.
But at least both those songs contain the word ‘love’. That gives them the edge over a number of songs that made my list of ‘Nick’s Top Five Totally Inappropriate Bridal Waltzes’, which are listed below.
In descending order of appropriateness. All have YouTube clips linked.
5. Sloop John B-The Beach Boys: As mentioned above. It just wouldn’t work. It’s all about wanting to go home and not having fun on a holiday, or alternately, a psychedelic drug experience. It just depends on how you read the word ‘trip’. And I love the video clip.
4. It’s Time: The theme song to the 1972 election for the ALP. Sure, it was catchy enough for me to know the words, and Gough Whitlam is probably Generation Y’s favourite Prime Minister. After all, who doesn’t like the idea of free university education? But just like the original Saints, Whitlam crashed and burned after three years. And it’s just not a good sign for a wedding. That and Bert Newton sang on the original.
3. Leader of the Pack-The Shangri-La’s: Anyone who doesn’t like this song is not up to my standards of cool. It’s about a relationship that was disapproved of by everybody, which ends up in a tragic motorcycle accident. It teaches us a valuable lesson about why not to go out with deadbeat bikers. At least the ‘Leader of the Pack’ died before the protagonist of the story found out about the gang warfare and the meth labs. Play freakin’ ‘Chapel of Love’ by the Dixie Cups or something instead. If you're going to look at any of the YouTube clips, this is the one. They didn't have the Shangri-La's, so some guy made a video clip of the song with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Awful cool.
2. Push th’ Little Daisies-Ween: Granted, I want this song to be played at my wedding, though this plan may come at the expense of me actually getting married. It was a hit because it was just so annoying and groovy at the same time. Who doesn’t like losing their voice by singing along to the chorus? Though I love this song, I am well aware that it is a completely inappropriate bridal waltz.
1.Why Can’t The English Learn to Speak?- From the musical My Fair Lady, this song makes the number one spot because it has no connection whatsoever to getting married or anything. It’s also misogynistastic (Oh yes, I made that word up). It has no place in a wedding chapel or outdoor pagan celebrant ceremony, and is another constant reminder that Rex Harrison was probably the world’s first rapper. I mean, who else in the late sixties talked instead of sung?
Me too.
I was talking to someone about bridal waltzes, and how she had made her friend agree to give her the power of veto over what she walked down the aisle to. It makes a lot of sense, since people have the worst songs to play at weddings. A popular one to play is ‘Miss You Love’ by Silverchair, which is about loneliness. Or worst yet is ‘One’ by U2, which is about divorce, or depending on some analysts, AIDS. Either way, it’s not really an appropriate bridal waltz.
But at least both those songs contain the word ‘love’. That gives them the edge over a number of songs that made my list of ‘Nick’s Top Five Totally Inappropriate Bridal Waltzes’, which are listed below.
In descending order of appropriateness. All have YouTube clips linked.
5. Sloop John B-The Beach Boys: As mentioned above. It just wouldn’t work. It’s all about wanting to go home and not having fun on a holiday, or alternately, a psychedelic drug experience. It just depends on how you read the word ‘trip’. And I love the video clip.
4. It’s Time: The theme song to the 1972 election for the ALP. Sure, it was catchy enough for me to know the words, and Gough Whitlam is probably Generation Y’s favourite Prime Minister. After all, who doesn’t like the idea of free university education? But just like the original Saints, Whitlam crashed and burned after three years. And it’s just not a good sign for a wedding. That and Bert Newton sang on the original.
3. Leader of the Pack-The Shangri-La’s: Anyone who doesn’t like this song is not up to my standards of cool. It’s about a relationship that was disapproved of by everybody, which ends up in a tragic motorcycle accident. It teaches us a valuable lesson about why not to go out with deadbeat bikers. At least the ‘Leader of the Pack’ died before the protagonist of the story found out about the gang warfare and the meth labs. Play freakin’ ‘Chapel of Love’ by the Dixie Cups or something instead. If you're going to look at any of the YouTube clips, this is the one. They didn't have the Shangri-La's, so some guy made a video clip of the song with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Awful cool.
2. Push th’ Little Daisies-Ween: Granted, I want this song to be played at my wedding, though this plan may come at the expense of me actually getting married. It was a hit because it was just so annoying and groovy at the same time. Who doesn’t like losing their voice by singing along to the chorus? Though I love this song, I am well aware that it is a completely inappropriate bridal waltz.
1.Why Can’t The English Learn to Speak?- From the musical My Fair Lady, this song makes the number one spot because it has no connection whatsoever to getting married or anything. It’s also misogynistastic (Oh yes, I made that word up). It has no place in a wedding chapel or outdoor pagan celebrant ceremony, and is another constant reminder that Rex Harrison was probably the world’s first rapper. I mean, who else in the late sixties talked instead of sung?
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