Impractical Post-Teen Crushes
July 26th 2007 12:00
I am going to say that despite evidence to the contrary, I do not have a thing for older women. Sure, maybe a couple of months older is acceptable. Perhaps even a year. But no, I don’t have a thing for women significantly older than myself. This is even though both Ocean Girl and Alex Mack are several years older than me, and the simple fact of the ageing process means I will never catch up.
But if I’m going to implicate myself with liking characters on television shows who were underage at the time, despite the fact I was even younger at the time, I need to counter it with something. And not just anything. Counter it with a crush that is not only impractical, but one with an insurmountable age difference. That crush is Joan Baez.
Oh, Joan Baez. You may be sixty-six nowadays, but you’ll always be young in my heart. And my devotion to you will surely defeat the impracticality that I’ll need a time machine and a Bob Dylan-debilitating weapon to travel back to 1964 so we can be together. I’ll also need a plane ticket to travel to New York City. Considering the advances we’ve made in aviation since then, it would probably take about a month to fly to the East Coast of the United States from Australia.
But the fact remains that love surely conquers all, even the prospect of time travel, and the fact that by the time it would take me to build a time machine, I would probably be sixty-six myself, and I would be left with no other choice than to travel back to 2007 to begin a relationship with you.
To those who aren’t Joan Baez, please consider this video of her performing a Dylan song, conclude that she is indeed totally crush-worthy, and then back off.
Really Long Link
Mmm.
But if I’m going to implicate myself with liking characters on television shows who were underage at the time, despite the fact I was even younger at the time, I need to counter it with something. And not just anything. Counter it with a crush that is not only impractical, but one with an insurmountable age difference. That crush is Joan Baez.
Oh, Joan Baez. You may be sixty-six nowadays, but you’ll always be young in my heart. And my devotion to you will surely defeat the impracticality that I’ll need a time machine and a Bob Dylan-debilitating weapon to travel back to 1964 so we can be together. I’ll also need a plane ticket to travel to New York City. Considering the advances we’ve made in aviation since then, it would probably take about a month to fly to the East Coast of the United States from Australia.
But the fact remains that love surely conquers all, even the prospect of time travel, and the fact that by the time it would take me to build a time machine, I would probably be sixty-six myself, and I would be left with no other choice than to travel back to 2007 to begin a relationship with you.
To those who aren’t Joan Baez, please consider this video of her performing a Dylan song, conclude that she is indeed totally crush-worthy, and then back off.
Really Long Link
Mmm.
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